How To Bounce Back After Getting Fired

"It can be liberating to get fired because you realize the world doesn't end. There's other ways to make money, better jobs." - Ron Livingston

I turned 40 last December and I'm mostly proud of my 20 years of international career: 15 years corporate at all levels on all continents, and about 5 into entrepreneurship. I consider myself a savvy leader for the teams I've mentored, and a mature and diverse asset for any organization. So, although I knew it was coming, and even wished for it to happen in the end, I was a bit shaken when I was fired without warning or notice in January. What a great way to kick the year off, eh?

I had never been fired before, and although I wasn't getting along with my new boss, his personal interests, inflated ego, lack of communication skills, leadership, sound judgement and ethics altogether, I felt my termination was handled brutally and unwarranted for. I've never had any trouble parting ways with companies or projects in the past, and every ending had always been met with diplomacy, negotiation, and compromise from both parts. And so I was shocked to be dismissed the way I had only seen in American movies until now, immediately asked to handover all company property, gather my personal belongings in plastic bags (all I could find on the spot), with an HR agent escorting me in the process and out of the office, and without being able to say goodbye to my colleagues, as if I had turned into a thief and hostile enemy in a matter of hours - I will never understand this barbaric exit strategy. I found it ironic and unbelievable how I could be blindly trusted for over a year, with all the company's sensitive data, decisions on suppliers, staff, internal processes and regulations, budget, its clientele, image and reputation, working hard to better the organization and defend the company's interests, and be so easily and subjectively banished in a matter of hours simply because I was no longer wanted or liked. Never before this, was I given any kind of direction, evaluation, constructive meeting nor warning. Looking back, I really should have ran out the door as soon as I heard the pathetic, misleading and overrated we-are-family-nonsense-speech given at every team building and employee party...

But hey, this is life, and this short-lived bittersweet experience will probably mean nothing to me down the road. The truth is I had given up since a few months and was really hoping to get fired, so even if I never actively did anything wrong, even if it didn't happen gracefully, and my ego got a little bruised, I had everything to gain from this ugly but necessary breakup. Here are some important lessons I have taken away from this experience.

"When They Go Low, We Go High"

What better moment to remember Michelle Obama's famous speech!

In the moment: no matter how brutal a termination can be coming from some companies who lack empathy for their former employees, do not lower yourself nor give them the pleasure of showing you are hurt. Hold your head high and leave with dignity. Thank them for the opportunity that was given to you and mention the things you did appreciate. Keep things short, keep documented evidence of everything you sign and remove yourself as soon as possible.

Anticipate And Recognize The 7 Stages of Grievance

An employment termination is a loss, and where there is loss there is grievance. You will go through some forms of shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing and acceptance. The sooner you realize and accept this, the quicker and smoother the process will be to navigate. Take the time you need to go through it.

Recognize Your Errors And Assess Your Strengths

Now is a good time to look back on some of the things you could've done better and learn from them. And it's as crucial to assess all your qualities, skills and strengths to come out of this adverse experience ready for new opportunities and challenges. Employers want to hire people who have strong emotional intelligence (i.e. self-awareness). Getting fired from a job — whether it’s one you love or hate — will help you train that muscle.

Get Rid Of The Shame And Guilt And Set The Record Straight

Don't be afraid to share your experience with people around you and even future employers. Being able to share your truth as hard and painful as it can be, is usually a sign of maturity. You don't have to go into details if you don't want to, nor kill the company's reputation on your social media, but find a way to acknowledge what happened and appropriate the story in a concise explanation. Some people won't know what to respond or feel uncomfortable with your truth, but chances are most people will understand and support you as many go through similar experiences, more often than none.

Get Closure

If you weren't able to say goodbye to your colleagues, you can invite some of the ones you appreciated to have a farewell drink somewhere outside the office you can no longer go back to. The people who cared about you will show up. You can go through the phase of telling your side of the story and them telling you the company's side, but try not to dwell on this phase for too long, at least until you get full closure and no longer care about the hurtful situation you've been through. If you are to stay in touch with employees at your old firm, it's better to set boundaries and no longer bring your old firm up, out of respect for yourself. Again, people who care about you will understand.

Take Care of Yourself

This is the time to take care of yourself. Your life isn't over, the world hasn't ended, you're going to get another job or start a new project (quicker than you know or even want to), so take advantage of this in-between-work time to take care of yourself, spend time with your family and friends and do things you might not have time to do when you work. Wake up late, don't shower, eat junk at any hour, binge-watch Netflix until early mornings or go out and get yourself drunk if you need to, but don't fall into long-term self-destructive habits. Allow yourself enough freedom from routine to rest for a while, but find yourself back to a balanced life and take care of yourself by reading, exercising, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, learning new skills, going on a trip or hanging out with supportive people.

Be Realistic And Get Back On Track

Most of us can't afford to not work for extended periods of time so if this is your case, be realistic about your finances and assess the timeline and deadline you have until having to get back to generating an income. If you were fired, perhaps the severance package will help for a while. Work on your resume, on your pitch and on your interviews, apply, make calls, talk to people in your network and get back out on the work field. Be confident, your skills and profile are always needed somewhere.

Don't Sell Yourself Short Nor Settle For Less

The biggest lesson I've learned in my career is that past a certain age and experience, one must stop selling themself short to try to fit in certain jobs. Actually, at any age and experience for that matter. Of course this is relative to each person's situation and depends on the job market you find yourself in. But if you can, try to aim for jobs and companies worthy of your skills and values, and that will pay what you are worth. If you accept jobs you are overqualified for or jobs that pay less than what you are worth, chances are you are going to get bored, you aren't going to stay motivated for long, and the companies who hire overqualified or underpaid staff usually turn out to be unappreciative of their employee's worth or potential altogether. If you can, do some research on the company before accepting an offer to see if it has ethos and is actually true to its values internally. Apart from the company values, the position and salary, know that several other factors contribute to making a job fulfilling like the commuting distance, the schedule, the comfort of your office/desk, the work culture, the internal communication and staff guidance/evaluation, the relationship with your superiors or subordinates, amongst other things.

Ask for And Review Termination Clauses In Your Contract

Last but not least, know that you can negotiate the termination clauses in your employment contract. Unfortunately, I live in a country where employment laws do not protect employees much and where employers can apparently terminate their employees without warning or notice. It seems employers who feel potentially threatened by employees they have the intention of firing, can do so without reasonable notice. Should have I known this, I'd have negotiated the termination clauses before accepting the job to avoid being terminated the way I did. This is no different than negotiating a higher salary and can spare you unnecessary disrespect or shame when being terminated for no apparent or unfounded reasons.

Sarah J.D.

Intentional Nomad

Dominican Republic, February 2023